I think about how old Owen is now and can’t help but think he’s as old as half of my pregnancy. That seems like such a long time ago now. I almost forget what it was like being pregnant with him. I was so worried my entire pregnancy that I had a hard time enjoying and being in the moment. Nothing I could have done would have changed how challenging being pregnant was for me but I’ve always wished I could have been naive as I was with my first pregnancy.
Solids & feeding: Owen is nearly 5 months old and thriving! We started him on solids late last week. He’s been eating a bit of avocado each day and he loves it! We’ve given him sweet potato with chicken too and he thought it was OK. I’ll continue with Avocado for now and think about what’s next. I don’t want him started on all the sweet stuff yet. I’m also just taking it slowly on him so his tummy gets used to it. He still poops only once a week. I thought with a bit of solids this past week he’d go a little more often but seems as if he’s squirrelling his poop up for an epic event!
Breastfeeding: OK I have to mention, I was going to post an update that would go along the lines of “OMG this kid is breastfeeding again!!” But sadly that only lasted 3 days. I don’t know what made him do it. And I don’t understand why he didn’t want to for more than 3 days. I was cautious but getting so excited. I was talking about how to increase my supply again. And then day 4 came upon us and when I sent to feed him in the morning he latched on and off a few times and just started screaming at me. So I figured we were just having a bad day. But the next day and the one after that were no better. To a point now that if I put him into cradle position he starts to cry and scream because he doesn’t want to be breast fed. I cannot tell you how sad it all makes me. Sad that I was this close to living my feeding dreams and now that he can’t stand for me to hold him close. Now I need to work on getting his trust back so I can cuddle him in cradle again. There is nothing more rejecting than your baby screaming at you because they don’t want your breast anywhere near them. What I would give to rewind back to the day we left the hospital, knowing all that I know.
If I had one piece of breastfeeding advice it would be: do your home work. Read about it, learn it. Know what to do if things aren’t going quite right. BF was one thing I wanted to do badly and I’m having a hard time letting go.
Formula has been dramatic too. We have gone through so many brands. Every time Owen refuses a bottle of formula, my heart aches and I wish I could give him milk only. It’s also what keeps me guilted into pumping. He has started to refuse Hipp brand. I have three boxes in my pantry and he won’t touch it anymore. So on advice of a friend we bought Similac Advance and he seems to tolerate it well. It’s supposed to be closest to breast milk. At this point I will feed him what ever formula he is happy with because what I want is for him to be happy. We will try HIPP again some day but for right now, I’m done fighting this kid.
I am still pumping three times a day yielding 22 ounces a day. I freeze 4 ounces a day to have a freezer stash once I wean right off and supplement formula alternating bottles. I’ve decided yesterday I would start to wean my afternoon pump. It doesn’t seem like a lot but I spend 1.5 hours of my day pumping. It’s pretty much summer now and I don’t want to be bound to my home during the day. We are going to Chicago in July so I’d like to be weaned off the afternoon pump by then. Pumping just like nursing is an emotional process. But unlike nursing, us Pumping mommies hate doing it but we can’t stop. It’s like a drug. Gotta keep doing it! LOL
Development this week:
This kid loves to stand. Loves. He would spend half his day awake, standing.
It amazes me how well he stands. He still doesn’t really like tummy time so there hasn’t been much developments on the ground. I’m guilty for not providing him all the opportunity to do so. I hate to see him struggle and cry. But I know I need to, for his sake.
He grabs at his toy and tosses the around so much better. It’s amazing how babies can wake up one morning and totally have mastered a skill. That was both standing and grasping last week. He also loves the exersaucer. He’s still a bit small for it but he seems to love the independence and all the fun stuff he can do!
Mother’s Day this year was just perfect. My family is complete, I had my little boy with me. My husband did a great job making me feel special! This day for the past four years have been somber and awkward. Clearly being a mom but not having my little girl by my side. I thought about her all day but my heart was warmed seeing my boy here with me. I’m very grateful to have him fill my arms.
Next up will be his five month vaccine on the 27th and then 6month check and vaccines again. We continue to build on his solids varieties and will keep you all posted on his progress!