Week 25

I’ve been keeping quite busy this week between pricing our a potential bathroom reno & my husband’s knee surgery so, time has gone by fast. Everything’s going well & so I’ve been status quo. My constipation is still some thing I’m battling with. While the Magnesium is making it better, it’s only helping me to pass the stool, not to soften it. But it could be worse and I’d rather it not be any worse. Baby’s been quite active and lots of rolling around!

Next Wednesday is my u/s and OB appointment & also my Glucose test.I never did the Glucose test in my first pregnancy so this will be a new experience. I hear it tastes a lot like Orange Pop and not as bad as everyone says.

cauliflowerThis week, baby’s as big as a Cauliflower….my apps suggest baby’s around 1.5lbs but my baby’s measurements were 1.5lbs at last week’s u/s so he/she is likely a little bigger. He/She can now distinguish from being upside down to right side up. Makes me wonder if he/she will experience a head rush! I should start feeling baby hiccups at some point but I haven’t felt them yet. I remember them with my daughter, it was very distinct. I figure that’ll happen some time in the next couple of weeks.

My belly seems to be slowing down in size from what I can tell. The last couple of week photos seem to be relatively similar. I had a growth spurt from about 20 weeks to 22 weeks and since then, seems to have tapered.

Names: DH and I have been struggling with names. We are pretty sure we have figured out a girl’s name (although my husband keeps saying its just in for the running) but a boy’s name we’re having a very tough time with. In fact, DH hasn’t really made much of a contribution to names and I warned him he best come up with some options if he plans to weigh in! It’s funny how when you are going through this process of naming a human, how many names you learn you HATE! Then there are the names you can’t pick because you know someone who has that name OR someone close who’s named their child that name. And then you finally think you found an awesome name & then your partner tells you they hate it. It’s a really tough job! That’s basically been our process. I plan to get some baby books from the library to see if we’ve yet to have discovered the best name ever…and I’m sure DH will hate all of the names I think are pretty neat! Hah!

XO

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24 Week Update

This week I got to see my little bean again! He/she has seemed to really have grown since two weeks ago. Baby’s now around 1.5lbs according to measurements we got on Wednesday. The technician I had this week was great! She seemed very eager to please & to explain so many things. For starters, I asked to hear the heart beating since I still haven’t heard it! And she told me that the machines actually cannot pick up the heart beating but what we can hear is the pulse through the umbilical cord. I mean really, who’d have known that? I wonder if technicians let us believe it’s the baby’s hear to make us feel better about it?! :) She gave me TWO…count them TWO photos of the baby. I can hardly get ONE photo out of the rest.

I’ll be going back in two weeks for another ultrasound/OB appt (26th week) and at the same time, I’ll be doing the glucose test. I never did this in my first pregnancy as with a midwife, you can have the choice to do this test based on your family and health history. So this will be a new thing for me. Two weeks from then on the 28th week I will have the baby measured again and after which point I will no longer need to measure my cervical length anymore. I’ll still be going in for my bi-weekly ultrasound and OB appointments. Dr. H said that after that point, there’s no point to measuring because anyone with cervical shortening problems would have shown issues by then and later on past the 29th week, the cervix can naturally start to shorten as it gets closer to delivery time. It makes me nervous to know this but as long as I’m getting monitored still, I will be happy.

This week, baby’s been extremely active! Especially at night when I am trying to go to sleep.
Sleeping has become more difficult. My hips hurt if I lay on one side for too long & every time I end up on my back, I wake up in discomforts. So, we’re getting to that phase of pregnancy already!

My constipation has been getting better. Third day I’ve been taking Magnesium supplements as per my Natropath’s recommendations, and I’ve had BM every day! I’m happy about it. My stool is still harder than normal but point is, it’s passing. And that’s important! Other wise I’m feeling really good. We have our crib set up as of last weekend! Our mattress arrives next week. I have a pack and play (my bff ordered for me for my shower gift), my office has purchased two car seats for us which is huge!!! One infant size and then the next size up. I did a little online shopping at BabyGap & couldn’t resist…their clothes are sooo freakin’ cute! I have to promise myself, no more baby shopping. It’s hard when you don’t know the gender anyhow! Lots of whites & grays for this little one.

Here is a photo of our little one. Must admit, it’s a nicely shaped head ;)

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Week 23 Update!

Every week that goes by, I am more & more grateful that I’m still pregnant.
I still live in fear that one day that other shoe is going to finally drop on me & I’m going to loose this baby. I no longer fear that I’m going to spontaneously have a miscarriage, I worry that I will once again go through PPROM. I want to pass the 37th week mark and then I can feel relief knowing that any time if my baby decides it’s time to come into the world, I have a very good chance I’ll have a healthy baby to bring home.
So many things in my life leading up to this point has been not without tremendous difficulties and hardship. I really would like for ONE major even in my life to be a happy, positive memory and experience.
I’ve been contemplating a lot about this pregnancy and the way I look at it is, I am constantly living in fear of loosing another child however, I’ve got this Optimism and excitement that’s FINALLY here. I’m driving full force ahead planning everything baby with complete determination that this baby is coming home! And yet, I have a very difficult time imagining this to happen. I can’t really make sense of it of put that feeling into words. I think if I believe it, it will happen. So the more I do to prepare for this baby’s arrival, the more real it’s going to get.
I am very aware of my body and what it’s going through. Every ache and pain is noted because I fear I will have this baby too soon. I made it to 32 weeks last time but, I want to make it to term this time. That’s my goal – is getting him/her past 37 weeks. I find that having bi-weekly ultrasounds & appointments very helpful. I think if I didn’t have this type of attention, I’d be much more anxious about everything. I have my next OB appointment on next Wednesday, September 10th. I will have a whole anatomy measurement and my first Fundal Measurement.
24 weeks is the milestone a lot of women are calling “V-Day”. A baby born at 24 weeks has a 35% survival rate. This statistic means absolutely nothing to me and I feel no comfort in it. I had a baby at 32 weeks & she died because she was simply born too soon. I remember feeling really good about this milestone in my first pregnancy thinking I didn’t have to worry going forward. How wrong I was!

grapefruit23 Weeks also means my baby’s as big as a Grape Fruit and weighs just over 1lb!
He/she is starting to develop nipples
He/she is listening to my voice and
His/Her face is fully developed!

 

 

 

 

 

This week was not an easy one. I am suffering horrendously with very bad constipation.
It seems that being on Progesterone Supplements on top of my already sluggish system from being pregnant is a BIG culprit. I finally got major relief by Monday night but it was absolute horror trying to pass stool. At one point Monday night my cramps were SO bad I almost went to ER to get help. I just wanted my gut to empty SO badly and I was desperate and nearly in tears the pain was SO bad. I swear I thought I was going into labor! Anyway things finally passed but I felt so sick all night & the next day & my stomach even to this day is a bit sensitive. I will be trying Milk of Magnesium next time it happens. In the mean time I’m taking Colace every day & keeping up with water intake hoping it will help.
I will be consulting with my OB next week if there’s anything more I can do to help. Or if I can perform an enema when things get this bad. I just can’t go on this vicious weekly cycles anymore.

I gained 5lbs in one week between week 21 & 22. It was abnormal. I lost 2lbs a day or two later & figured it was definitely water retention. Well, after I passed all the stool in my body, I went from 156lbs in total back down to 150lbs! I was shocked!

I’ll be giving an update next week after my OB appointment. I’m really hoping I will have another baby picture!!! Until then! xo

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22 Weeks!

And this week, baby’s the size of a papaya!!!
He/she is almost 1lb. Wow! I’m feeling tonnes of kicks and punches this week that have been really cool. It’s a great reassurance that everything’s going well. I had my ultrasound and check on Wednesday & all is well. I had that funny-bunny tech & didn’t get a photo this time. She barely even tries or let’s me decide what’s good enough for me. But anyway I’m grateful every two weeks I get to see my little one! I gained 5lbs in a week which is abnormal. My blood pressure is normal so nothing concerning but my OB will keep track of it. I’ve gained 16lbs so far! Next appointment in two weeks we will be getting baby measured and start my Fundal Height measurements going. I still haven’t heard that baby’s heat beat and will be sure to ask at the next appointment. I have found this time around, the techs have been less keen on me seeing my baby or hearing it’s heart. It’s as if they’ve been trained a certain way to be difficult!
This week has been eventful in how I’ve been feeling with my pregnant body. My upper back has been killing me. By end of a day my back is really fatigued. My belly has been stretching out and uncomfortable. I’ve got constipation again that’s been difficult to deal with. I have four months left and hope I feel physically in better shape at some point. I also get this tearing groin feeling above my pubic bone when I go for a walk. I’m told to find a pregnancy belt to help keep my hips together so I’ll be on the lookout.
I am definitely finding this pregnancy tougher physically. I feel I need to be more active to be limber but I have physical limitations and restrictions. I still suffer from my anxieties about the health of this pregnancy and worry I will go into preterm labor. I’m very, very grateful to be pregnant. More than anything I wanted. But it’s been difficult to enjoy being pregnant. I wanted nothing more than to feel blissful and absorb every moment but instead I can’t wait for it to be over and done. I don’t seem to be alone in this. I have made TTC/IVF friends who suffered losses and felt the same. I am however very, very excited the day this baby’s in my arms. But more so, the day he/she is snuggles in it’s stroller, on our way home. Xo

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21 Week Eggplant!

Today, our baby’s the size of an Eggplant! Or some would say Carrot or even Pomegranate.

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  • Baby Weighs around 13ounces, 10.5″ in length (crown to heel)…explains why I feel him/her kicking so much now!
  • Baby’s almost as big as the placenta! This week, his/her digestive system is maturing
  • Baby’s very active this week! Karate champ in the making here!

 

This week has been uneventful in baby land. I feel him/her kicking around so much now. There are periods of the day that seem more active. Definitely after a meal, in the late mornings & late afternoon/evenings. It’s very reassuring to feel all these kicks, rolls & punches. I have my next OB/Cervical Measurement on Wednesday of next week. I can’t wait! I live for these two weeks. I went from TWW in TTC to TWW in OB appointments. I always worry that some thing may go wrong and I’ll go into early labor again. I get a stomach ache or cramp and think the worst. While I’m growing in optimism and going full steam ahead in baby preparations, I’m still cautiously optimistic.

I have a registry all made up & have been talking Shower planning with my BFF who will be hosting the party. We will have the shower on November 23rd so that my MIL will be in town for it. It’s still quite a ways away but I’m excited to start planning it & getting things together to make decorations and such. I planned my last shower and never made it. While some part of me is nervous for planning a shower, my optimism that this baby will come home and I have to keep on trucking!

Ps: I feel huge!

 

Until next time!

xo

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3 Years Gone…

I really wanted to write a post yesterday about our baby girl’s would-have-been 3rd birthday but I was really trying to hold it all together & get past the day. That’s how I am…I always put on a brave face and plow through the tough times. I’ve shed a thousand tears…probably more & every year, I feel the pain once again and every year I hope I never feel that pain again. So that’s my reason for pushing through. But an unfortunate thing happened yesterday. My husband’s maternal grandmother passed away. We knew she was dying and it would be a matter of days but I held onto high hopes that it would not be yesterday. I just didn’t want it to happen on the day of our little girls’ birthday. But it did. I had very mixed emotions about it and continue to. I am very sad for her loss & for everyone else’s loss and it tipped the scale for me & I totally broke down last night. But I also grieved for our one day of the year that was for us to remember our little that turned into some thing new. A day of death. I didn’t want her day of birth to also be a memory of someone’s death. And now a week in August is marked by the birth of a little girl who passed 5 days after she was born and the loss of an important family member. August has and is officially one I dread and wish I could sleep through.

We didn’t do anything particular this year to mark her birthday. Nothing seems right. First year we did the balloon release that lot of people do. It was cathartic but so sad. Since then, we haven’t done anything to specifically mark the occasion. I don’t want to do anything that will make my pain feel even worse than it is. Some times I feel bad for this…like we’re not doing anything to mark her special day. But she’s in my heart and I think of her always and I keep her memory alive. And that’s enough for me.

xo

20 Weeks! Half way point!

This Week marks the half way point! Today, the baby is a size of a Banana!!!

SONY DSCThis week, baby has taste buds and is swallowing a few ounces of amniotic fluid every day!

Baby is approximately 10oz and 6.5 inches

 

 

 

 

This week has marked an important milestone to this pregnancy. I can’t believe I’m half way there! Baby’s more & more active as the week goes by.  If I catch the little one in an active spurt, I can even feel it on the outside! Next I hope my husband can catch these moments as well. We have decided to keep the gender a surprise…that was really hard to do at the anatomy scan. I wonder every day if it’s a boy? or a girl? I have always felt like it’d be a girl but I wondered at times if it were two deciding factors. One that I’m in favor of a little girl & two, my psychic reading said so. Now many people will probably scoff at this idea and call it stupid but she’s been right about everything else. She’s been right about timing of pregnancy, about the fact that there would be two but in the end only one. And that it would be a little girl…born perhaps a couple weeks early. I certainly hope the birth a few weeks early only means as much as 2 weeks early MAX but she mentioned 2 weeks, maybe up to 6 weeks early. Of course this makes me incredibly nervous to read even if it is mumbo jumbo because the last time our little bean was born early, she didn’t survive.

On that topic, this week coming up is going to be a hard one on us. Tuesday the 19th marks what would have been our little girl’s 3rd birthday….THREE! All I can think about is all the things we missed. How different our lives would have been if she lived. Sunday marks the day she lost her life but I have decided that wouldn’t be a significant day for me. I want to mark the happiest day and that’s the day she was born. I continue to miss her dearly. And since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve thought about her more. I feel like this pregnancy & baby is very different which I’m very happy about. I used to fear that I would feel like it was a continuation of our little girl and how hard that would be on me. How hard it would be to imagine that a new baby occupies the space which our little girl grew and was then born. But I’m happy to say none of those feelings are here. I really wanted to feel like this little person was not taking the place of our little angel. I find I think about one thing though – if our daughter survived, this little one would not exist. That’s a strange world to live in. We never would have had another child after our first born, and so I know that had our little girl survived, this little person would not have existed. And yet I’d trade in the world to have my little girl back.

20 week bump 2

Until next time!

xo

Anatomy Scan, 19 Weeks & 5 Days

Today was my highly anticipated Anatomy Scan. Everything is perfect & baby’s healthy! Unfortunately the tech didn’t really give me much of a baby tour. I caught side glances of the monitor while she was doing her job. At the end she did show me the baby for all of 1 minute and I had to request a photo. Honestly, this hospital likes to be difficult ! We almost didn’t get a good enough profile photo for the doctor but turns out doctor is satisfied. I told them we don’t want to know the sex of the baby. I cannot tell you how hard it was to not know. But I was strong for my husband!

This first official appointment with my new OB solidified and satisfied my need to switch doctor’s. She is so incredibly kind and informative. She told me that I don’t need to be considering a Cerclage unless my cervix starts to shorten to a point of concern. She did say however that if by this point there is no indication of an issue, the will less likely be an issue. We could always put in an Emergency Cerclage later if needed. But all signs point to I won’t be needing it.

I will be going back in two weeks & will continue to see her & have my ultrasound every two weeks. Next appointment is on Wednesday, August 27th at 10am.

Nothing more to update on my end of things. Baby is very active these days which is really fun. My constipation is becoming more manageable although I had a major tear when I had a bowl movement two days ago – ouch! And so much blood. That wasn’t cool. I picked up a pack of Anusol suppositories to help heal & so far, so good. Now if I can just keep my bowl movements in good order!

Here is baby bean at 19 weeks & 5 days!

19 week

Until Friday!

xo

19 Weeks!

This week…

 

 

 

0mangoBaby’s approximately the size of a Mango this week! 6.0″ in length and 8.5oz in weight.

  • Developing a protective coating over Baby’s skin, called vernix caseosa. It’s greasy and white and you may see some of it at birth.
    • Working on his/her five senses. Nerve cells for baby’s sense of taste,  hearing, sight and smell are developing in Baby’s brain.

 

Not much to report this week. Kicks and bumps are increasing and is daily. If timed well, I can feel his/her kick on the outside of my belly! My constipation for the time being is gone. Yah! We are heading back to Toronto today. 18 hour drive which I hope we drive in record time. Going to be an exhausting weekend. I’ll be likely updating Wednesday after our Anatomy ultrasound. Can’t wait to see baby!

Until next time, Banana!

xo

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18 Weeks!

This week..

sweet-potatoes-2Baby’s approximate size this week is a Sweet Potato!           Baby is approximately 5.6″ in length and weighs 6.7oz

Baby’s very active this week. He/she is now  yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. This week, I started to feel some regular kicks and punches.

This week I’ve started to feel kicks, sporadically. This is really exciting and a bit more reassuring that things are going well.
My constipation has been absolutely horrible. I became very desperate so I phoned Motherrisk and they said I could try Colace which is a stool softener. It’s not safe to use a laxative. It’s said to take up to 3 days and as much as 5 to start working. Well it’s been moving things along slowly but surely but still not great. However better than before. Been up North and it’s been really nice. The bugs have been horrible though. Lots of black flies and Mosquitos. It’s too bad because it’s made being outside difficult. And with this summers weather, it’s not been the warmest either. I’m just hoping the winter will be more mild this year.
 

Until next time, Mango!

xo

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