OB Followup

I don’t usually post twice in one week – or three times? I’ll have to post Friday or afterward with my 38 week up date – but looks like we’re heading in baby territory soon! Everything went well and I had many questions. I told her about the cramps I had Saturday, the painful BH I have & she believes I lost my Plug…and while I didn’t want her checking my cervix today since it’s my Step-Daughter’s birthday & I don’t want to be crampy – she did seem to think this baby could potentially come in the next several days. My next appointment is Monday rather than Wednesday and she suggested I have a cervical sweep to ge things moving. She doesn’t feel like I’ll go past my due date or will need induction but it’s an option. So, now I think about it! I’ll see perhaps what my cervix is doing Monday and go from there. But I wouldn’t mind baby coming next week. It is after all what I’d like to happen.

I’m scared, nervous, excited – everything! And not about this baby being in our lives but everything else before that point. I’m starting to get nervous about my delivery. Will I make it to the hospital, will I have a good birth story? I don’t want a C-Section, I would like an Epidural, I hope to have a short labor. I would like my husband to drive me to the hospital and not have to take a Taxi or Ambulance. So many things on my list! I never thought I’d get nervous and yet – here I am! Nervous….

I’ll update you all with a 38 bump pic. My bump doesn’t seem to really be growing much more and I’ve lost 1lb! So my overall weight gain seems to be 20lbs. But in traditional fashion, I’ll be posting soon :)


37 Weeks! Baby’s finally at Term!


I wanted my headline to say “Full Term” but the medical community has changed their guidelines for what Full-Term means. 37-38 Week old babies are considered “Early Term” while 39 – 41 Week old babies are considered “Full-Term”. It has now been proven that the extra two weeks have extreme benefits both medically and also developmentally for infants. I’m considered to be in the “safe” zone now which has completely shifted how I’m feeling and I’m now ready to deal with what ever happens. If baby decides to come today, I’m ready emotionally and mentally for that to happen. However….given how nervous I’ve been about this baby’s health, I now feel like I really need and want him to hang in there until I’m at least between 38 – 39 weeks. I know that it doesn’t mean I won’t have a health, happy baby if he came today but everything worries me.

I had my OB appointment on Wednesday as per usual and everything was looking good. I’ve been having a lot more strong and some times painful BH contractions that went to my lower back and OB says it’s normal and it could also be my body preparing itself. The only worrisome thing that happened was when she was looking for baby’s heart rate she picked up a HR that was low – I really believe it was my pulse given I’ve gone through this some 50 or so times when I was admitted – but she believed it was baby’s so I went for a Non-Stress Test. Non-Stress for whom!? LOL I was pretty sure all would be OK and was still convinced she picked up my HR given I know what it sounds like by now and that she had to find a completely different location on my belly to finally find the baby’s perfect HR. So I got strapped on for 20 minutes to the HR/Contraction Machine (might I add, this process stresses me out to no end….having to hear his HR and worrying every time it goes too low or too high). After a while, the nurse came in to mention how active my baby was….every nurse has always commented on this. It so happens he put one of the paddles right on the spot where his feet were and he decided to put on a show. This kid KNOWS when he’s up for performance. It’s really becoming quite amusing! Anyhow, the doctor was very pleased with the results and I was sent away with no issues. But I can tell you, that’s weighed on my mind a lot. Any little blip like that worries me. So, I’ve been monitoring his kicks and movements. When there’s too long a time that goes by, I start getting worried if his heart’s stopped. It’s never been a winning situation with me. Up to this point, I never worried about his welbeing – only that I needed to keep him inside for as long as possible!

Speaking of baby’s arrival, this weekend I was convinced this kid was coming out. I kept telling my husband “I told him NEXT weekend…not this one! He’s just not listening” LOL
Saturday, DH and I decided we’d try to have sex. We haven’t had sex since the beginning of April of this year. That’s a long freaking time. Anyway – needless to say, it wasn’t very sexy or arrousing. I was paranoid about how it would feel, if I’d be uncomfortable or in pain. So I didn’t really enjoy the experience (no pain, slight pelvic discomforts) but none the less, there we have it. About a half hour or so later, I started feeling mild cramps that eventually turned into full blown strong AF cramps that came and went along with belly hardening and I thought “oh boy, we’ve gone and done it!”. I mean really, can Semen start cramps like this??? I was so shocked. We were going about our day preparing if and incase it ended up turning into contractions and we were headed to the hospital.¬†Alas, the cramps subsided some 10 hours later and two days later, cramps are gone! So it was some false labor episode. A part of me was disheartened as I’m increasingly uncomfortable by the day and a bigger part of me was relieved he still had time to bake. But now, I’m really feeling in my gut that this baby will come before the months end.

I woke up this morning and noticed a big glob of cervical mucus in the toilet. It wasn’t coloured and it wasn’t a copious amount but it was a lot. And I have had bits more here and there through out the morning. I do wonder in the back of my mind if this baby’s aiming for his arrival this week. To be honest it will be welcomed this weekend. Not on Wednesday (that’s my SD 10th birthday) and not on Christmas (obvious)…but hopefully some where in between all that :) Yes, I like to think I can plan this one out.

My SPD has me couch surfing for most of the day. My pelvis goes through days where some are better than others. I still get extremely sore and stiff by the end of each day but I’m grateful for the mornings I wake up and know I have some time to squeeze in a few errands before I need to rest for the remainder of my day. My hips and lower back are becoming increasingly achy too. So much for the end of my bed rest! We went for a very short walk yesterday with the dog and I was in a lot of discomfort and pain. I really wish I didn’t have this SPD so that I could at least be productive or get out and socialize. I’m home all day & night and I’ll tell you, it really is getting old. And I know once this baby arrives, my life won’t be much different for a while.
My Braxton Hicks hasn’t really gone up in frequency but there are the one every few times where it’s very painful, lasts a few minutes and I need to take some time to breath through it.
Some mornings I have this strange stomach pain where when I drink water and then eat some thing – or just have water – I get very strong upper GI pain that some times I mistaken for thinking it’s a contraction starting. Yep – that strong! That’s been going on for a while. Not every morning, thankfully!
I’ve moved sleeping onto the sofa. Been couch sleeping for a couple of weeks now. The bed we have is great but it’s too firm and I don’t have any back support. So, I sleep on the couch which means I don’t disturb my husband when I get up ever 1-3 hours to pee and toss and turn. It also means however, I stay on my side and don’t really have a chance to roll on my back which woke me up a lot when I slept in bed. My hips also don’t ache because the cushions are on the softer side of things. It will be nice once I can sleep next to my husband again :)
People were not kidding when they said the last few weeks were uncomfortable. I never had grasped how true this is. And how little sleep I’m getting. There are days I have difficulty feeling positive because of all these aches and pains but I have to constantly remind myself, the pay off is worth it! And it will be :) I can’t wait to meet my little boy!!!

36 Weeks & Counting…

photo 1-1I made it to 36 Weeks – WOW! One more week to go & I can feel relaxed and ready for baby to come when he’s ready. Although, I must say going based on how uncomfortable I am all the time, I feel ready soon. I really hope I won’t go past my due date. I’m not sure how I could manage it! My SPD is getting worse. It’s hard to walk around. Sleeping is highly interrupted. I’m too sore and uncomfortable for a good nights rest. On the bright side of things, my constipation has eased up! I would think Prune Juice is helping me a lot! That’s been great…I feel less uncomfortable around my belly.

I am going stir crazy this week. More than any other week it feels. Perhaps it’s that I’m getting close to 37 weeks and I’m getting antsy to move around freely. I started my sewing projects. I made two baby bibs and one change pad cover. My dog makes a great Model :)

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I ordered some fleece to make two blankets out of some other fabric I have. That is scheduled to arrive end of next week. In addition to that, I want to make two more bibs with matching burp cloths. I am hoping by the week after I will feel up to standing in the kitchen for some batch cooking. that was one of the big things I wanted to be sure to have gotten done so that we had some frozen meals for the first couple of weeks that baby’s home.

I had my OB appointment this past Wednesday. Everything looks great but nothing to really update. I redid my Group B swab since the first time I had it done was at 29 weeks when I was admitted to hospital. OB says it’s valid for 6-8 weeks. I’m assuming it’ll be negative again.

I’ve been pretty emotional lately regarding my baby girl. I’ve been thinking of her so much. I’m not sure exactly why I’m feeling it so much these days but when I think about this baby boy’s imminent birth, it reminds me of my time with her. I think about what I’m missing out on, what I’ll be missing out on that I’ll have with my son. And the worst of it is knowing that if she’d still been here, he wouldn’t exist. And his existence is only possible because she didn’t survive. And these statements are very true given the fact that we wouldn’t have ever pursued another child after my daughter was born. And given all the fertility issues I dealt with, we never would have gone through fertility treatments. I would do anything to have her here with us still. And then I think about my baby boy inside me, I can’t imagine not having him here with me now either. I’m nervous for his arrival and how I’m going to feel emotionally about it. Bringing him home will be amazing given I didn’t get to have that with our girl but I already feel the fear setting and needing to make sure he stays alive. I wish I didn’t have this added fear within me and could just enjoy him with out any limitation. I hope some day I will let go of that fear of what happened to our daughter and be able to see this as a different experience.

This weekend we are planning to get a small Christmas Tree and decorate out home! I used to be really impartial to Christmas for many, many years but in the last few years with my husband, I’ve looked forward to it. I love the twinkly lights at night. This time of year always feels so cozy!

I’ll make anther update end of next week unless some time comes up. 37 Weeks, here I come!

35 Week Update

35 WeeksHey Everyone! 35 Weeks over here…whoop!

You’d think for someone who’s got a lot of time on her hands she could easily do her updates every Friday but alas, guess not! Two more weeks on rest and then I can just be free & enjoy this pregnancy, what’s left of it! I’m a little wee bit more mobile these days for sure than in the beginning of my rest. I’m less paranoid of going into early labor and I know at this point, everything should be OK. So while I’m still taking it super easy, I’m doing little things here and there that don’t exert much energy. But to be honest, my body is so sore and weak that I can’t do much for too long. That includes sitting upright!

photo 2 photo 3

This week has been fairly uneventful. I’ve finished putting all the baby stuff away and organized from the baby shower. I sat in a swivel chair with wheels and so that way I wasn’t having to stand or do much moving around really.

I photo 4made some home made baby butt balm. Super easy to make! It’s made of Bee’s Wax, Shea Butter and Coconut Oil.

I am working on my constipation. It’s still very, very bad. I stopped taking Progesterone since Thursday that past and photo 1I haven’t noticed any difference yet. I got DH to buy me some prune juice (blech, too sweet) and dried figs. Colace doesn’t do anything for me anymore. Nor does Magnesium. I kinda miss having my stomach problems and having issues with an overactive bowel. Now that I’m getting closer to my due date or impending delivery, I’m starting to really envision having all this poop to expel during labor…humiliating!

I’ve been spending most of my time getting my life organized before this baby arrives. Christmas gifts are mostly taken care of now. This week I’ll be wrapping, I repacked my Emergency hospital bag to a simplified one night, having a baby bag. Baby’s bag is also packed. I’m counting down my days and wishing them away to 37 weeks. That’s all I’ve been really focusing on. I still sleep quite poorly. Both because I can’t stay comfortable and I’m still stressed about going into early labor. I have very vivid, strange dreams that some times disturb me awake and then I can’t fall asleep again for a long time. It will be sooo good to have a healthy, term baby in my arms and be able to move past all this. It couldn’t come sooner! And at the same time I’m not sure I’m ready…how ironic. This coming Wednesday I have my OB appointment and weekly going forward. I only had one normal OB appointment with Fundal height and listening to baby’s heart rate. It’s all mostly been done through my ultrasounds. I do wonder what we’ll be going through now. I would like to know what the protocol will be once I go into labor such as, when to go to the hospital and when to stay home and labor. Also whether or not I should have a birth plan. I keep reading about these birth plans but I am a go with the flow kind of girl. I’ll update you all at the end of next week.


34 Weeks!

OK I’m a little behind here…..but, I’m 34 weeks preggers!!!!! 34 Weeks & 5 Day’s today! I am in constant awe as to how far I’ve made it so far. At the same time, I want to be 37 weeks and I can’t feel good about anything until I am. I must admit however, over the past week or so my anxieties have calmed down. I’m still nervous each and every day but not as much as I used to be. I had my OB appointment last Wednesday & baby was measuring at 4lbs, 7ounces. I am waiting for that magic number of 5lbs which should happen easily by next week Wednesday if not sooner. I no longer have ultrasound appointments which saddens me. But I know I’ll be meeting this little man in no time! He was looking really big & squished for space in the ultrasound. I was going to ask for a photo but he was only giving us a face forward shot & those are creepy, not cute so I passed on it.

This past Sunday I had my baby shower! Another milestone I couldn’t believe I made it to. I was convinced when I was in hospital that I’d never make it and would end up having to post-pone it. It was really, really lovely and I got sooo much cute baby stuff! I ended up fulfilling anything else that was missing by shopping on Amazon that same night so now, I’m really ready for this baby’s arrival! But…not for another two weeks and a bit, please!!!

How am I feeling? Uncomfortable. No other way to sum it up! My ligaments are stretched out to what feels like the max and according to my MIL & Husband, I’ve grown quite a bit in the past week. So this explains all the belly aches! I am SO incredibly constipated these past few days and I’m imaging myself exploding every time I eat a meal! I reduced my Progesterone from 200mg to 100mg and hoping that helps some thing. I’ll stop Progesterone entirely by my 36th week. My new OB said to me I could stop them now since there’s no conclusive evidence they are doing anything for me at this point but given my two other OBs gave me week 36 to stop them, I just feel too paranoid to take her advise. I would kick myself and live in regret if I stopped now & went into early labor. As much as I’d LOVE to stop it all together.

5th week on Bed-rest….I’m really going out of my mind now. I’m bored as all hell, antsy and just read to get my body moving already! I am moving around the house a little bit more than I was 5 weeks ago…but just taking things very easy at the same time. Once I hit the 37 week mark, look out world! I’m coming for ya!


Here are a couple shots from my shower:

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33 Weeks

photo 2-2There were many times though out my pregnancy I didn’t think I would get to 33 weeks. And then for a while I believed I would give birth after my due date and I started devising plans to avoid from that happening. Now I’m back to waiting for the shoe to finally drop and have this baby pre-term. And here I am, hanging on for deal life – 33 weeks pregnant! I haven’t gone this far in my pregnancies before. Every time I hit a Friday and count another week down, I become nervous about whether or not I will make it to the following Friday. Next week I’ll be 34 weeks pregnant and two days shy of my baby shower! If I make it through the week to come and to the end of my baby shower, I’m going to be floored! Ending up in that hospital with a positive fFn test threw me in the mind set that I’ll be extraordinarily lucky if I make it to 37 weeks, let alone to my due date. If I’m still pregnant whilst opening up Christmas presents, I think I’ll have to pinch myself to make sure I’m actually awake! This week has really been uneventful. I’m battling with constipation badly which adds to my overall discomforts, stomach aches and leads to more paranoia of ‘omg is that me going into labor or do I just really have to poop?’. I’m taking Colace, Metemucil, Magnesium…and still, not helping. I won’t go into details with how I actually pass stool…because it’s awful and I never want to ever have to do it again…Heh. Anyhow, I’ve decided to drink water as if it’s drying up (like I did in the hospital) in hopes that will solve some of this issue. I drank like a fish while in hospital and I wasn’t constipated at all. I’m sure some of that has to do with my diet and stress levels too but the water may be the ticket! I drink lots but maybe not enough. Enough would be getting up every 15 minutes to pee! So, lets see how that works out… I’m achy…all the time. Mostly by late afternoon/evening and night. My stomach feels like its 20lbs or more, my back aches all over, my stomach aches, my pelvis hurts. Man, really I never thought it would be this uncomfortable! My doctors suggest its this bad because it’s my second pregnancy. I bought a belly belt and it arrived yesterday so I’m hoping this will help me feel a bit more comfortable. Least when I’m standing and walking!

photoI have these super sexy leggings I must wear on bed rest. They are called T.E.D. stockings. It is to prevent blood clots. They aren’t too uncomfortable to wear. I don’t sleep in them as I like to have a break and not feel them on my legs for at least some portion of my day but I have to wear them from when I wake until I go to bed. I’ll spend the next week finishing up my shower decor, laying around, watching movies I never got around to. I’ve got some baby sewing projects I should figure out if I can work on while being on rest. If not, I’ll have to hold onto the fabric until I can. I should finish knitting the baby sweater I’ve been working on for a while and the Racoon Amugurami I’ve been working on. I finished the fox so I’m glad I finished one thing! If I get around to finishing the Racoon, I have a beaver to do last. While I have all these crafty things I can be doing, I can say that I’m finally getting bored and feeling cabin fever! I wish to be outside more than anything and amongst other people (never thought Id want that so much!). So here is to making it to week 34 and hopes I’ll keep baby baking 4 more! xo

32 Weeks!

I am in total disbelief that I left the hospital at all…and even more so that I left with baby boy still in my womb. I was convinced given all of our “luck” that I was going to have this baby while I was admitted. I feel so lucky to be here, at home, on my sofa being able to say I’m 32 weeks pregnant. My ultimate goal is 37 weeks and once I get to 37 weeks I’m going to be VERY happy. Overjoyed really. I think once that time comes, I’ll be able to finally take a deep breath of air, and let it all go.

It’s been nearly 3 weeks since my positive fFn test so I hope that is a clear indication that my positive was a false positive. And given I don’t have any signs of going into labor any time soon, could this mean I might actually make it to term? Mentally, emotionally I feel like I have to get past 32 weeks. 32 weeks and 2 days is when I gave birth to my baby girl. And while she was born healthy and happy and should have come home three weeks later, other forces beyond our control took her life. And while being anything less than 37 weeks doesn’t make me feel better about our outcome, I just feel that getting further away from 32 weeks would lessen my anxieties little by little.

Bed rest has certainly lost its appeal. Not that I think it ever had one. But watching TV all day just sucks. And there’s not too much else I can really do. It’s either chat with friends online or watch TV. I don’t have enough focus to read any books right now but maybe eventually I’ll actually finish my book that I started at the beginning of this summer?? I have crafts I can do – lots of baby crafts. And my shower decor. But what’s been stopping me is that I’m a little bit afraid that if I get all this shower stuff ready, i won’t make it to my shower. If I work on all this baby stuff, what if there’s no baby for me to use it on? It’s a lot of morbid types of fears but how could I not be afraid after loosing our baby girl? My shower is in two weekends so I certainly will have to finish that up. I feel like I need another week or so to pass in order to get into it. I don’t have much left to do so I think waiting will be OK.

I had my follow up OB appointment this past Wednesday. Ultrasound & OB appointment.
Ultrasound showed everything’s looking perfect. What I concerned was leaking fluid (but knew it was more likely pee or the increase of discharge) my OB said my fluid levels are 100% so I am not leaking fluids. Well, OK I guess I’ll have to trust her? It’s a difficult one for me. So, nothing seemed amiss. The horrible pelvic discomfort and pain is apparently a common complaint. I told her it felt like a bowling ball sitting on my pelvis and like baby’s going to just fall out! She says this is what a lot of women describe it as and its stretching muscles under the belly. Just par for the course. She did say however, any time some thing worries me to go to Triage. Well I joked with her that it could literally be every day at the rate my paranoia is going at! I’ll be seeing my new OB every week as per my request. But I realize given u/s is only every other week, a weekly visit may be an overkill. We’ll see what the appointment next week will be about. I may really not need the appointments unless here’s an u/s along with it.
Baby boy is 3lb, 10 ounces! Can’t wait for him to get to 4lbs & more! I want him to be least 5lbs before he is born. I just have to will and coax baby boy to STAY INSIDE!

I tried working on a photo for 32 weeks but my outfit made it hard to see my belly. I’ll try again later & update once I have a photo. I think growth wise, things have slowed down a bit. I also lost a LOT of weight being in the hospital and having lost my appetite. I was as much as 163lbs and I am currently 153lbs. That’s a 13lb increase since before I was pregnant. Baby boy is still growing and my OB says what he needs, he will take. I’ll have to work on increasing my calorie intake which should be easier now that I’m home.

Ok talk to you ladies soon! Hopefully I’ll be keeping my blog uneventful.







Week 31…Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 31st marks my 31st week! Happy Halloween! And it was the day I came home from the hospital. I thought I was going to miss out on this day but instead I was lucky to be home with my family!

This week, Baby is around 3.5lbs
He is nearly the length at which he will be when he’s full term
He has noticeable wake/sleep patterns. We’ve already clearly defined that he’s a night owl and
morning’s aren’t his thing! (good, or bad??)

This week I have a lot of ligament aches & pains
My belly feels really heavy
I have hemorrhoids (yuck…and ouch!)
I’ve developed a yellowy-mucusy discharge that’s par for the course

Officially on home bed rest until 37 weeks…here’s to holding on tight until then!

photo IMG_436546669

Home, Sweet Home

I missed blogging Thursday & Yesterday which were important days with important tests that would determine if I was staying in hospital or finally coming home. But I felt like if I said too much, I would jinx myself and not make it home. My luck hasn’t ever been stellar. Statistically, I always fall on the side of shit-end-of-the-stick. If it could end badly, it will. So, I kept mum. End result is, I’m home!

Thursday morning I had an ultrasound of the baby and the technician said everything looked great. As I’ve been told numerous times, he wasn’t going to measure my cervix. The one thing I’ve been most curious about! For me, it would be a peace of mind knowing that my cervix isn’t dilated and effacing but alas, they wouldn’t do it. Doctor on staff yesterday & my OB both said they weren’t going to check my cervix manually either. They didn’t see the need for it based on how well the baby was doing on monitor and given last week my cervix was both closed & 3cm long. My OB said while in most cases examining the cervix wouldn’t bring on labor she just said to err on the side of caution, she wouldn’t be checking it. Many people would see this as a positive thing but, with out seeing the proof it leaves me feeling unsettled. Perhaps if I didn’t go into labor with my daughter at 32 weeks I would be less anxious and I would have more trust in my health care team. But because I had a baby prematurely and she didn’t survive, I questions everyone and everything thing they say.

Thursday was fairly uneventful. I was achy all day but my new physical ‘norm’ is to be achy. My left side up is achy for periods of the day that last a long time. I have very mild cramps that go away with movement that is under my belly area which doctors tell me it sounds like ligaments. As is the ache that goes up my entire left side of my belly starting at my pelvis. So of course, these sensations some times play with my mind into thinking I have uterine cramps. But most of the day was going very well and I was feeling extremely hopeful that I would be going home Friday. Around 3pm that day I had horrible stomach ache that started from the top and just radiated all over my belly. And I thought ‘shit, this is it….’. After laying down for half hour or so, it completely disappeared. Seemed to me in the end that it was likely food that unsettled my stomach. None the less, it had me quite concerned all night.

Friday was a better day. I was feeling pretty good and hoping I’d get the green light to go home. My team of doctors and my OB came by in the morning and they all agreed that given everything and how I’ve been doing over the course of my 10 day stay, they felt I could go home.
It’s what I’ve wanted the whole time I was there. At the same time, I was nervous as all hell. I can say that while I feel better being in my home environment, I am still paranoid as all heck. I analyze every BH contraction I have, every ache I feel, check my underwear and toilet paper every time I use the bathroom. I’m just on the edge of my seat wondering if I’ll make it to the next day. I think it’s going to be a really long period of waiting. I’ll have a lot of time on my hands on bed rest to think too much.

I feel like some amount of time has to pass from the hospital visit and I have to pass the 32 week mark and I will hopefully feel a little less worried, a little less paranoid every day. This Friday coming up will mark 32 weeks. I desperately hope I’ll make it there. While I want to make it past 32 weeks, I really want to make it to term. I want this pregnancy to be different. I want to bring my baby home with me after 24 hours stay in hospital. I never want to get acquainted with the NICU at Sunnybrook. I just want things to go as they’re supposed to!

I’m always scared and I keep talking about my fears. Perhaps I need to? I find it cathartic to be able to write exactly how I feel and think on here. I hope I don’t tire all of my readers out but right now, this is what’s going on in my life and so that’s what I have to talk about.

I want to thank every one of you who’ve sent me encouraging words and have kept me in their thoughts. It really means the world to have supportive people in my life. xo

Day 10; Movin’ On Up!

I got the announcement early yesterday morning that I was once again gaining a roommate. Ugh. I thought to myself how I couldn’t go through that drama again. I asked my night nurse if there were any Private Rooms available and she said there were 3. 3?????….. I was on the waiting list, what happened?! I told her how anxious having the last girl bunking with me was and how I couldn’t go through it again and made a decision to make the move. Pay the additional $55/night and if I end up staying past this week I could have the option of moving back to a semi-private room. I felt good about my move, I wasn’t feeling so anxious and for the first time since I arrive, slept almost 7 hours! My OB visited me this morning to see how I was doing and she told me that she didn’t realize all that was happening in the other room and has prescribed the private room to me so, it’s of no cost to me. How I love living in Canada! And my Doctor! So now I know, if I need to stay past this Friday, at least I don’t have the added stress of having to room with someone again.

Yesterday, late afternoon my OB came to visit with me and she said our game plan for the week would be to monitor how I’m feeling through to Friday, have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow to see how cervix, baby and everything else is looking and based on the results and how I’m feeling, I might be going home Friday! I don’t want to put too much emphasis that I’m going home this week just in case my cramps come back or my ultrasound shows some thing bad so I’m just going to hang in there, hold onto some hope and keep reminding myself I’m in good hands here and if I have to stay, so be it.

Being on bed rest has been difficult. Up until today I could tell you that I wasn’t bored out of my mind and counting down the hours. But today, I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been watching endless episodes of Gilmore Girls, keeping in touch with friends and family but the time has been creeping by so slowly.
My body is aching and stiff from sitting and laying in bed. I do have some privileges to walk and get around a little but I’m afraid of doing too much of it. It’s funny how after so many days of being confined to your room, that it becomes your safety net and as much as you get sick of watching the same walls day in and day out, it’s the one place you feel safest. I do make myself walk up and down the halls a few times however just to loosen my body up and get blood flow moving. I went down to the lobby today for some snacks and unlike my first attempt, I didn’t start to have an anxiety attack!
I’ve developed Hemorrhoids…yup. I blame it on sitting & laying on my ass all day. I do try to lay on my sides as much as possible but it’s inevitable.
My entire left side is incredible achy. I have to remind myself to get up every so often and do some stretching.
I don’t envy anyone who has to be on bed rest for an extended period of time but I respect reasons they have to be done. And I’ll do what I have to for this little boy to stay in place for at least another 6 weeks. You hear me, little one??? Stay inside!!!

I’ll be sure to update some point tomorrow after my ultrasound. I’m very nervous for it. I’m expecting the worst, as one would in my situation. I’m crossing every thing I have that I have NO signs of any pre-term labor. Please oh please….