Status Quo

The good news is that I am not in labor. The bad news is, I’m still confined to the hospital bed.

I was really hopeful and optimistic that last night I would be going home with my husband but, things didn’t pan out the way I had hoped. The cramps that I had developed Monday night hasn’t gone away completely and because of that, my OB will not discharge me. She says I need to be symptom free and no signs of active labor for her to feel comfortable about me going home. And while that is so difficult at the best of times, I completely agree. I am in the best place I could be right now to help keep this baby baking.

Yesterday was an extremely emotional day. It’s the first time through out this that I finally just broke down in tears. For all the fears I have if he is born too soon and for having to be here, in this hospital another day. Being home means things are OK. And being here means, we’re still unsure of things.

I started off yesterday morning feeling much better than I did the day & night before. My cramps had subsided considerably and I was starting to become optimistic that things could only go uphill from there. But as the day progressed on, my cramps worsened and my fears grew. I thought I would have another ultrasound to see if there were any changes with my cervix but I was told by the resident doctor that they weren’t planning on another ultrasound and the only cervical checks that can be made at this point would be manual. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with another manual exam given how things progressed Monday night and she reassured me that they would just check the outside of the cervix which was gentle and how it was part of their protocol in order to discharge me. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with it and wanted to speak with my OB.

As the afternoon wore on, no signs of my OB and my cramps worsening I told my nurse that I was getting concerned and to find out if my OB was still going to come see me. She phoned down to her office to leave a message that I’d like to see her and in the mean time if I wanted, the resident doctor could take a feel of my cervix. I politely DECLINED and waited for my OB.

Dr. H promptly showed up at my door after her clinic closed and we went through protocols.  We talked about checking my cervix and after a lot of back & forth, I allowed her to do a very gentle exam and she said there’s no changes in the length of my cervix. I cannot tell you how much better I felt hearing that. I asked her what would be done in the event that labor progresses in order to stop contractions and hold this baby in. Turns out there’s not a heck of a lot that can be done. I broke down in tears and told her I already lost one baby and just couldn’t go through that again. She quickly went through a list of options we could try and she came up with one method that’s been proven to stop contractions, relax the uterine muscles and it was  Blood Pressure medication. She said the way that BP medication works is that it opens up the blood vessels and allows blood to flow freely and one of the side effects of the drug is that it relaxes muscles. I agreed to give it a try since at this point, I’m willing to do anything that means this baby stays INSIDE! She agreed to give the drug a try for 24 hours and see how I react to it. One of the downfalls is that my blood pressure could drop which would mean I have to stop the drug. Luckily for me, my blood pressure has remained normal, I’ve had no side effects of it and she’s agreed as of this morning to keep me on it for the time being and just wait & see what happens. So far I can say that my Braxton Hicks has decreased exponentially and my cramps as of today have improved considerably. While this makes me very happy, I am also hopeful that the easing of my cramps aren’t just from the drugs. I would like to be able to believe that my cramps will eventually stop which means I can go home & take it easy, bringing this baby home when it’s the safest time to have him. But for now, the only thing I can do is take it day by day willing this baby to hold on a lot longer.

The fFn test has me on edge. While I understand that false positives are very, very common I don’t do very well with statistics. They usually kick me in the ass, very hard. Days after the test, I still don’t have signs that I’m going into labor which is a good thing – but I need to get past the two week mark and beyond to see if it really was just a false positive result. This makes me very nervous and feeling overly cautious about every movement I make. I hope every morning that I wake up, my waters are still in tact, my cervix still happy, my cramps have gone away and that going home is in my near future. I’m holding onto hope that this will be a distant memory and better things are ahead of me.

For now I know, I’m going to be here in this hospital room under the best care I could ask for. And I’ll stay here for as long as I have to in order to make sure his baby keeps on baking until at least 37 weeks! I’ll be grateful if I can make it that far but I’m just hoping to make it as far as I’m able to. I’m missing my home, my bed, my dog, my husband….my life before this past Monday. It’s difficult to be here emotionally and also having to abandon everything in my life. But I’m doing it for this very special cargo that I struggled to have for such an long time. Hang in there, Baby…please xo


When the unexpected happens…

I feel like with this whole pregnancy, I’ve been walking on a very thin line. I am high risk so I’ve had a tonne more ultrasound and doctor appointments than someone who isn’t. My husband and I have at times wondered how good it actually is to be this observant of everything going on. A slight change in my cervical measurement, albeit still acceptable, and our hearts leap out of our throats!

Yesterday started out as a typical Monday. Dreadful wake up to the alarm clock that was set an hour earlier than normal so DH could be at work for 8am. Had my morning cup of coffee at my desk and a look through my emails, a typical start to my morning. Around 11:30am, I went to grab some lunch and when I sat back down at my desk I started to notice how frequent my Braxton Hicks contractions were and how uncomfortable they were getting. The cramps were uncomfortable and pain was resonating to my lower back. I get BH Contractions every day but it’s never been like this. So I started to worry, could this be a start of early labor? While many signs pointed to unlikely, I didn’t want to take a chance at self-diagnosing myself and stewing in worry until Wednesday morning when I saw my OB again. So, for the first time this pregnancy (and quite proud) off I went to Triage, paranoid high-risk pregnant lady.

As it turns out, it was a good thing I went in. I’ll begin to explain why.
Firstly, everything during my exam looked good. I had a resident doctor working on me (which I found a bit unnerving) but he seemed confident that everything looked normal. The first step was to take my vitals and baby’s and also to hook me up to see if I was having contractions. Everything looked good and yes contractions showed up but it’s just my BH which everyone keeps saying is normal and nothing to worry about. The next step was to take a swab of my cevix for whats called fFN testing (Fetal fibronectin test) which indicates if there is a possibility of going in labor in the following two weeks. That test came back positive. My heart sank so deep. My stomach churned. I didn’t understand what this meant entirely but I was really believing I was just waiting for the test results to come back negative so I could pick up my husband at work and head home. But this was not the case. I was put back on monitors because they couldn’t get a good reading the first time and got ready for another cervical check by an OB this time and an assessment if I was going to be admitted to the hospital. Every horrible thought from my first pregnancy when I got admitted to hospital came gushing back. I can’t have this baby yet, I can’t loose this baby, and so the thoughts went on. The OB on Triage staff came in to ask me about what’s been going on, explain to him the history of my first PPROM and then to do the internal exam again. This time, he said I was 1cm dilated. What?!?! I was in total disbelief. I kept saying to him how I can’t understand the discrepancy between my first exam two hours prior to now. And to how my appointment with my OB last Wednesday was very good and how she had no concerns of me going into early labor! He had not much of an explanation except that he alluded that there would be a discrepancy between practitioners and especially with an intern. Well, that’s wonderful!

Back to the positive fFn result. The issue with this test, and where I’m holding onto hope, is that when it’s negative, it’s a true negative. There are no signs of me going into labor in the next two weeks. But when it’s positive, it’s inconclusive. Meaning, there’s only a 50% chance of anything happening. There are so many false positives so it’s unknown whether or not I fall on the false or the positive. After doing some googling last night, there seems to an influx of women who were diagnosed positive and went on to having a full term baby. Or very close to full term in the least. So, because of this I was admitted last night and I am currently on observation for 48 hours. For precautionary measures, I had my first of two steroid shots to develop and protect the baby’s lungs. My next one should be tonight. If there are no further signs of labor progressing by tomorrow night, I get to go home. This is my ultimate goal!

I was very anxious for today’s cervical measurements and I was amendment to refuse another manual check. I had horrible cramps all night long from what I’m sure were the two cervical checks I endured last night. Sleep was horrible for both the reasons of feeling stressed about my current situation but also because the cramps kept waking me up. I asked the nurse for some Tylenol today to ease the pain and thankfully I’m much more comfortable. I’m having my usual bouts of BH this morning albeit it didn’t start for a while after I woke up and it’s with out any discomforts. Anyway back to this morning, a technician surprised me this morning around 8am that I would be going for my ultrasound check. My heart was beating so hard in my chest, imagining the worst. But worse it wasn’t, infact it was better than I thought! She asked me why they were concerned about my cervix so I explained everything that happened in Triage and with a confused look she said expressed her confusion because everything looked good. My cervix was near 3 cm (same as last Wednesday’s OB appointment), closed, not funneling (so it wasn’t starting to open). She said that the manual exams are not accurate enough. And I told her that I felt extremely conflicted with the differing stories – now I’m believing that the intern is more experienced than the actual OB with 15 years experience! I can’t imagine my cervix dilated 1cm & then by this morning, closed up, happy as a clam?! Anyway, for now I am relieved and just have to bide my time to see if the fFn test was a false positive or not. That’s going to drive me crazy, I’m sure of.

And while writing this, my regular High-Risk OB came by to see me – yay! – and she’s happy to see things are better today, that my cervix is still happy. Because of the fFn test coming back positive, she’s more likely to have me stay for a few days in hospital to be monitored. Most definitely if I’m sill experiencing cramps or painful contractions. She did answer my question that it’s possible because I’m on Progesterone suppositories, it could alter my results of the test. But for now, being high risk they’re not taking any chances. If by tomorrow I’ve had no painful contractions, no cramps, nothing has changed, I have a good chance of going home & being on rest, making sure I return if any of my symptoms come back. It seems most of what’s going on right now is precautionary than anything. My cramps have been coming on and off in the last little while which has me a little bummed. I really want to see it gone entirely and back to “normal” but I will just hang in there and hope by tomorrow things will be even better for me & baby!

Aaaaand that is all for now. Whew…just gotta hope that I can keep things less interesting in the near future.


29 Weeks!

Not much to update from my last posting. I must say, I am really feeling huge now! I have a hard time moving around, hard time getting up from laying down/sitting. My constipation is back with a vengeance this week. I have developed this strange radiating ache that goes up my left side…it could be constipation related. Reduced activity has been really difficult for me. I do the majority of all the house work and cooking so this had me very worried. I can’t stand a messy or dirty house. My husband however surprised me this weekend & really took over the house chores which was a nice change. The challenge will be when I’m on leave, to not do too much. I will be bored…and boredom always leads to cleaning & reorganizing.

Today’s officially starts off my last two weeks of work!  My replacement started training last Monday and she’s picked everything up so fast, it’s been wonderful! I am pretty much going to spend most of this week at work doing a heck of a lot of NOTHING. I have my next OB/us appointment this Wednesday & then, I have one more appointment after that with my current OB as she’s also going on Maternity Leave as well. I really, really like her so it saddens me. I just hope I won’t get a different doctor at each appointment. I am sure I’ll have to describe my high risk situation at each appointment.

My Maternity leave will begin November 1st! We have our first of many Prenatal Classes starting. November 1st will be a private 4 hour class strictly on Prenatal topics. After which I have a Baby Care Class, Breast Feeding….spread out between November 1st & beginning of December. Then in February, each Friday is a Baby & Me class. I never made it to my Prenatal Class last time. I also never made it to my Baby Shower. My Baby Shower is in 5 weeks and I’ll be 34 weeks…the furthest I will have been pregnant, ever. These milestones make me nervous. It feels like if I think about it or talk about it too much, I’ll jinx myself and have this baby too early. I am hoping in the end, this will be just like a normal pregnancy, no more scares and worries, just smooth sailing.

Baby’s been super active the last few days. The big kicks have turned into a lot of rolling around & short frequent jabs. 29 weeks means he’s building up his fat reserves. I am expecting him to be over 3lbs by now. I have actually lost 5lbs over the course of 3 weeks but my belly keeps on growing. I also recently read that baby boys tend to be bigger babies than girls…gulp…here is wishing for a 7lb baby!

I will be updating likely after my next OB appointment this Wednesday…or I may wait until Friday when I’m 30 weeks. I’ve really fallen behind in the consistent Friday updates…doh!

photo 1-1

Oh, Boy!

Yesterday was my follow up exam to see how my cervix is holding up. My doctor said she’s very happy with the results and as of today, she has no concerns. My cervix is staying at 2.9cm, there’s no funneling and it’s staying closed! While this does make me feel better, I still have my anxieties. I explained to my doctor that I am extremely nervous about going into early labor, as I did before, and I want some reassurance that once my Cervical Measurements stop, I am still being monitored. She said I will be having one last Cervical measurement next Wednesday the 22nd, and after that anything going on with my cervix will be inconclusive. She did however agree that if I feel better about it, I can continue going in for weekly appointments for my viability and OB appointments. This way, baby is still monitored and my amniotic levels are measured. I feel relieved that she’s agreed to to this.

Dr. H also explained to me that the Cervix doesn’t go from long to short in a short period of time, so given how my cervix is measuring it seems like if it were to thin out, it wouldn’t happen for quite a long while. She said that worse comes to worse, she would be comfortable with a baby born as early as 34/35 weeks, onward. The biggest issue the baby could have is feeding, because they’re so little. I feel good about her answer but, I still want to make it to term.

I have lost weight again. I went from 165lbs down to 163 last week & this week, 160lbs. The only thing I can imagine is that since last week, my stomach’s been in knots so I’ve lost a bit of my appetite and I’ve been having loose stools. I’ve read that constipation and water retention can cause weight gain so I can imagine that’s probably what has gone on. When I had my horrible bout of constipation last month, I lost a few lbs after my bowls finally emptied…in the same night!

And then the questionable….or inevitable happened…?…I found out the sex of the baby! It wasn’t intentional. I was looking at my cervical measurements results and BAM! There it was in black & white….. Fetus Gender: Male….I just stared at the words. I couldn’t believe I was seeing it. I thought to myself “Ok, I’m Female so it can’t be about me….”. So, wow! We are having a boy! I told my husband last night…I felt really badly because he wanted it to be a surprise but, we did discuss that should I find out, he would like to know. He’s asked to keep a surprise for everyone else. That is such a hard thing to do, but I will do my very best! I will be asking the technician next week at my ultrasound if he/she minds showing me what’s going on between the legs & getting an image of it. I feel like I need that confirmation, even though I saw it on a report.

Tomorrow I’m officially 29 Weeks pregnant! Wow….Getting so close! I’ll be updating this weekend with a 29 week bump.

Until then! Xo

Week 27 & 28

27 WeeksThis has been a rather busy week in our house so I’m sorry for the late update! I’ve been trying to get so much done this fall….we have new tenants for our basement apartment – that was a long process, lots of house fixes as well as getting my house ready before baby. LOTS of purging and cleaning! And I still need to get the nursery decorated & ready to rock!

Week 27 has been a good one. Baby’s been very active – lots more rolls than kicks. Although I’m still getting lots of kicks & punches. Some days more active than others. My constipation is always an issue – soon as I find a cure, it stops working. SO frustrating. I can’t wait to be off the Progesterone Suppositories. It’s very uncomfortable to be bloated & have constipation pain every day! The new, awesome symptom? Insomnia. I’ve never had this issue in my whole life. And now I wake in the middle of the night & spend a couple hours awake….albeit with 100 things going through my head. I plan to stop laying in bed trying to fall asleep & wake up instead & do some thing distracting and perhaps to help me go back to bed. I’ve been waking up once or twice a night to pee. Not too bad!

28 Week BumpWeek 28 was a bit of a stressful period. I went in for my routein viability and cervical ultrasound & my cervix dropped to 2.1 cm. The doctor said that was normal for this period of my pregnancy but because of my history, I would need to come back in two days & do another ultrasound. She went through some worst case scenarios if my cervix shortened too much & that’s where she lost me. I didn’t hear anything beyond that. It took me right back to being admitted in the hospital with my daughter and nothing but fear crept in me. I was imagining he worse. I am 28 week weeks & I can’t have this baby any time soon. I HAVE to make it to term. I don’t want to have another preterm baby. I just need to get to 37 weeks….I need to bring this baby home, safe & sound.

So I went back to the OB yesterday and my cervix improved to 2.8cm. The u/s tech said I have a perfect cervix, looked great. My doctor agreed! It was a relief but still left me feeling nervous. I will be going in next Wednesday for another u/s & my final one should be October 22nd. If nothing alarming is found, my OB says they won’t be measuring my cervix anymore because after 28 weeks, it is inconclusive. My cervix will naturally start to shorten in the third trimester, getting ready for birth. What leaves me feeling uncomfortable is, what if something happens before term and we miss it because we haven’t been doing ultrasounds? When I was going into labor last time, my cervix was completely thinned out & 2cm dilated and I never felt any pain, nothing – no indication that anything was ‘off’.  This is a question I’ll be asking at some point in the next two weeks. But for now, i will consider myself as the ‘average’ woman at 28 weeks & hope that my pregnancy progresses with no complications.

27W5D 1This week, baby’s 2.2lbs according to my ultrasound measurements! It is in the 53 Percentile which means it’s ‘average’. Yay for me, this means I won’t end up with a 10lb baby to push out! Baby’s been hiccuping about 2-3 times a day ever since the 27th week. That’s a pretty cool sensation. I totally forgot what that was like. I am trying to get this baby to cooperate so my step-daughter, N, can feel him/her too but every time I call her over, baby stops! That’s usually how it works. I’ll try again this evening when we are relaxed on the couch, watching a movie. Baby’s big enough now that when it kicks, my husband feels it against his body in the morning …hehe. But it loves to get active at night, just as I lay down to sleep…naughty!

Until next week!




26 Weeks

26 Week Bump.

This week was pretty awesome. I got to see my baby again! She/he was kicking around & I got to see him/her face head on! Even though it was just regular ultrasound, I could make out more than just the scull bones :) I did get some funny looking photos of our baby. Even though I treasure it, I must say the strait on photos can be a little creepy??? :) Everything’s looking great & my cervix hasn’t done any shortening. I had my Glucose test as well which I’ll find results out some time early next week. The juice tasted like flat, orange pop with added sugar. I felt a little weird after. Perhaps it was the rush of sugar. Anyway, I expect to pass with flying colors.

This week other wise has been relatively uneventful. Baby’s been kicking around like crazy – which is lovely! I can see external kicks through my peripherals, that’s how strong they can be! We’ve continued the search for the perfect name and find ourselves at square one. My husband seems to dislike all of the names I’ve come up with & has recently expressed that he’d like to be the one who chooses the baby’s name! I have times where I get a bit nervous that we’ll end up at the hospital with not a single name we agree on. I certainly do not want to agree on a name just for the sake of it. So, I’m really hoping we come to a mutual agreement we can both be happy with.

My constipation is a constant source of frustration. Every time some thing works for a few days, it stops working and I’m back to square one. This week, I decided to take a dosage of 2 Colace at night in conjunction with around 300mg of Liquid Magnesium and so far it’s helped me have movements each afternoon, following. I just cross my fingers it won’t be a temporary solution.

Baby Stuff:

We’ve accumulated quite an inventory of baby stuff already. We have his/her crib set up with mattress airing out & a matching bed set. We have both car seat stages. We have chosen the new Peg Perego Primo Viaggio 4/35 which is pretty slick, I must say! We have a baby swing, breast feeding pillow, Baby exerciser and a play mat for tummy time. And I must add, other than the crib, these were all gently used hand me downs from wonderful friends & the car seats were gifts from our office. We already have a stroller but unfortunately it’s an old model (second hand) and the car seat adapter no long fits any existing car seat. So that’s been a bit of a bummer…I am told I can strap the car seat down to the stroller because it simply won’t click in. So we’re trying that out.I am hoping we make out well from our shower – I still have a list of things we’re going to need before the baby arrives.

I am in major countdown mode! 5 Weeks left of work & then I’m officially off for 14 months! WEE! I am so excited to start doing all the stuff I have planned before Baby Arrives. Hallowe’en is my last day of work – a fun day at least! The very next day we have our private, one day prenatal course…great way to start off my leave!

And here is a dose of Baby Goodness:

26 Weeks 1



26 Weeks

I’ve been keeping quite busy this week between pricing our a potential bathroom reno & my husband’s knee surgery so, time has gone by fast. Everything’s going well & so I’ve been status quo. My constipation is still some thing I’m battling with. While the Magnesium is making it better, it’s only helping me to pass the stool, not to soften it. But it could be worse and I’d rather it not be any worse. Baby’s been quite active and lots of rolling around!

Next Wednesday is my u/s and OB appointment & also my Glucose test.I never did the Glucose test in my first pregnancy so this will be a new experience. I hear it tastes a lot like Orange Pop and not as bad as everyone says.

cauliflowerThis week, baby’s as big as a Cauliflower….my apps suggest baby’s around 1.5lbs but my baby’s measurements were 1.5lbs at last week’s u/s so he/she is likely a little bigger. He/She can now distinguish from being upside down to right side up. Makes me wonder if he/she will experience a head rush! I should start feeling baby hiccups at some point but I haven’t felt them yet. I remember them with my daughter, it was very distinct. I figure that’ll happen some time in the next couple of weeks.

My belly seems to be slowing down in size from what I can tell. The last couple of week photos seem to be relatively similar. I had a growth spurt from about 20 weeks to 22 weeks and since then, seems to have tapered.

Names: DH and I have been struggling with names. We are pretty sure we have figured out a girl’s name (although my husband keeps saying its just in for the running) but a boy’s name we’re having a very tough time with. In fact, DH hasn’t really made much of a contribution to names and I warned him he best come up with some options if he plans to weigh in! It’s funny how when you are going through this process of naming a human, how many names you learn you HATE! Then there are the names you can’t pick because you know someone who has that name OR someone close who’s named their child that name. And then you finally think you found an awesome name & then your partner tells you they hate it. It’s a really tough job! That’s basically been our process. I plan to get some baby books from the library to see if we’ve yet to have discovered the best name ever…and I’m sure DH will hate all of the names I think are pretty neat! Hah!



24 Week Update

This week I got to see my little bean again! He/she has seemed to really have grown since two weeks ago. Baby’s now around 1.5lbs according to measurements we got on Wednesday. The technician I had this week was great! She seemed very eager to please & to explain so many things. For starters, I asked to hear the heart beating since I still haven’t heard it! And she told me that the machines actually cannot pick up the heart beating but what we can hear is the pulse through the umbilical cord. I mean really, who’d have known that? I wonder if technicians let us believe it’s the baby’s hear to make us feel better about it?! :) She gave me TWO…count them TWO photos of the baby. I can hardly get ONE photo out of the rest.

I’ll be going back in two weeks for another ultrasound/OB appt (26th week) and at the same time, I’ll be doing the glucose test. I never did this in my first pregnancy as with a midwife, you can have the choice to do this test based on your family and health history. So this will be a new thing for me. Two weeks from then on the 28th week I will have the baby measured again and after which point I will no longer need to measure my cervical length anymore. I’ll still be going in for my bi-weekly ultrasound and OB appointments. Dr. H said that after that point, there’s no point to measuring because anyone with cervical shortening problems would have shown issues by then and later on past the 29th week, the cervix can naturally start to shorten as it gets closer to delivery time. It makes me nervous to know this but as long as I’m getting monitored still, I will be happy.

This week, baby’s been extremely active! Especially at night when I am trying to go to sleep.
Sleeping has become more difficult. My hips hurt if I lay on one side for too long & every time I end up on my back, I wake up in discomforts. So, we’re getting to that phase of pregnancy already!

My constipation has been getting better. Third day I’ve been taking Magnesium supplements as per my Natropath’s recommendations, and I’ve had BM every day! I’m happy about it. My stool is still harder than normal but point is, it’s passing. And that’s important! Other wise I’m feeling really good. We have our crib set up as of last weekend! Our mattress arrives next week. I have a pack and play (my bff ordered for me for my shower gift), my office has purchased two car seats for us which is huge!!! One infant size and then the next size up. I did a little online shopping at BabyGap & couldn’t resist…their clothes are sooo freakin’ cute! I have to promise myself, no more baby shopping. It’s hard when you don’t know the gender anyhow! Lots of whites & grays for this little one.

Here is a photo of our little one. Must admit, it’s a nicely shaped head ;)















Week 23 Update!

Every week that goes by, I am more & more grateful that I’m still pregnant.
I still live in fear that one day that other shoe is going to finally drop on me & I’m going to loose this baby. I no longer fear that I’m going to spontaneously have a miscarriage, I worry that I will once again go through PPROM. I want to pass the 37th week mark and then I can feel relief knowing that any time if my baby decides it’s time to come into the world, I have a very good chance I’ll have a healthy baby to bring home.
So many things in my life leading up to this point has been not without tremendous difficulties and hardship. I really would like for ONE major even in my life to be a happy, positive memory and experience.
I’ve been contemplating a lot about this pregnancy and the way I look at it is, I am constantly living in fear of loosing another child however, I’ve got this Optimism and excitement that’s FINALLY here. I’m driving full force ahead planning everything baby with complete determination that this baby is coming home! And yet, I have a very difficult time imagining this to happen. I can’t really make sense of it of put that feeling into words. I think if I believe it, it will happen. So the more I do to prepare for this baby’s arrival, the more real it’s going to get.
I am very aware of my body and what it’s going through. Every ache and pain is noted because I fear I will have this baby too soon. I made it to 32 weeks last time but, I want to make it to term this time. That’s my goal – is getting him/her past 37 weeks. I find that having bi-weekly ultrasounds & appointments very helpful. I think if I didn’t have this type of attention, I’d be much more anxious about everything. I have my next OB appointment on next Wednesday, September 10th. I will have a whole anatomy measurement and my first Fundal Measurement.
24 weeks is the milestone a lot of women are calling “V-Day”. A baby born at 24 weeks has a 35% survival rate. This statistic means absolutely nothing to me and I feel no comfort in it. I had a baby at 32 weeks & she died because she was simply born too soon. I remember feeling really good about this milestone in my first pregnancy thinking I didn’t have to worry going forward. How wrong I was!

grapefruit23 Weeks also means my baby’s as big as a Grape Fruit and weighs just over 1lb!
He/she is starting to develop nipples
He/she is listening to my voice and
His/Her face is fully developed!






This week was not an easy one. I am suffering horrendously with very bad constipation.
It seems that being on Progesterone Supplements on top of my already sluggish system from being pregnant is a BIG culprit. I finally got major relief by Monday night but it was absolute horror trying to pass stool. At one point Monday night my cramps were SO bad I almost went to ER to get help. I just wanted my gut to empty SO badly and I was desperate and nearly in tears the pain was SO bad. I swear I thought I was going into labor! Anyway things finally passed but I felt so sick all night & the next day & my stomach even to this day is a bit sensitive. I will be trying Milk of Magnesium next time it happens. In the mean time I’m taking Colace every day & keeping up with water intake hoping it will help.
I will be consulting with my OB next week if there’s anything more I can do to help. Or if I can perform an enema when things get this bad. I just can’t go on this vicious weekly cycles anymore.

I gained 5lbs in one week between week 21 & 22. It was abnormal. I lost 2lbs a day or two later & figured it was definitely water retention. Well, after I passed all the stool in my body, I went from 156lbs in total back down to 150lbs! I was shocked!

I’ll be giving an update next week after my OB appointment. I’m really hoping I will have another baby picture!!! Until then! xo


22 Weeks!

And this week, baby’s the size of a papaya!!!
He/she is almost 1lb. Wow! I’m feeling tonnes of kicks and punches this week that have been really cool. It’s a great reassurance that everything’s going well. I had my ultrasound and check on Wednesday & all is well. I had that funny-bunny tech & didn’t get a photo this time. She barely even tries or let’s me decide what’s good enough for me. But anyway I’m grateful every two weeks I get to see my little one! I gained 5lbs in a week which is abnormal. My blood pressure is normal so nothing concerning but my OB will keep track of it. I’ve gained 16lbs so far! Next appointment in two weeks we will be getting baby measured and start my Fundal Height measurements going. I still haven’t heard that baby’s heat beat and will be sure to ask at the next appointment. I have found this time around, the techs have been less keen on me seeing my baby or hearing it’s heart. It’s as if they’ve been trained a certain way to be difficult!
This week has been eventful in how I’ve been feeling with my pregnant body. My upper back has been killing me. By end of a day my back is really fatigued. My belly has been stretching out and uncomfortable. I’ve got constipation again that’s been difficult to deal with. I have four months left and hope I feel physically in better shape at some point. I also get this tearing groin feeling above my pubic bone when I go for a walk. I’m told to find a pregnancy belt to help keep my hips together so I’ll be on the lookout.
I am definitely finding this pregnancy tougher physically. I feel I need to be more active to be limber but I have physical limitations and restrictions. I still suffer from my anxieties about the health of this pregnancy and worry I will go into preterm labor. I’m very, very grateful to be pregnant. More than anything I wanted. But it’s been difficult to enjoy being pregnant. I wanted nothing more than to feel blissful and absorb every moment but instead I can’t wait for it to be over and done. I don’t seem to be alone in this. I have made TTC/IVF friends who suffered losses and felt the same. I am however very, very excited the day this baby’s in my arms. But more so, the day he/she is snuggles in it’s stroller, on our way home. Xo